Most of our Lilyfields London agency girls are huge Game of Thrones fans, and back in April, they were all looking forward to the eighth season. Now that it’s all over, we asked these escorts in London what they thought of the finale.
Their response was the same as most GoT fans: they thought Season 8 was TERRIBLE. In fact, they now call the show runners David Benioff and David Weiss ‘Dumb and Dumber’ for ruining that last season. From ridiculous plot holes to rushed storytelling and ultimately pointless characters, here are their biggest gripes:
The Night King was set up for 7 seasons as this demonic figure who was hell-bent on turning every living thing into a zombie. He was unstoppable, and surely it would take some magic power from another character to defeat him and the army of the dead. Maybe Jon would have to stab Dany to end the long night, as the Azor Ahai prophecy foretold. Or maybe the Red Woman would have to do some Gandalf-tier sorcery. In the end, it just took Arya creeping up behind him and then stabbing him with a dagger. And we never did get an explanation about who he was, what he wanted, and what those weird body part art installations were all about. In the end the Long Night only lasted a few hours. Hugely disappointing.
Another prophecy from the books involved Cersei – and specifically, who would have the job of killing her. The identity of the Valonqar (High Valyrian for younger sibling) was hotly debated coming into Season 8. The most obvious candidate was her younger brother Tyrion, who she had hated since he was born. Or perhaps her twincest partner Jaime would be the one. Even Arya or Euron might make good sense as they both had older brothers and sisters. But no. In the end, the Valonqar turned out to be a few pieces of rubble. Which was enough to kill her and Jaime, but not enough to give Tyrion much trouble uncovering in the last episode.
And then there were the stupid choices which various characters made, in order to move the plot to where Dumb and Dumber needed it to be. Dany forgetting about the Iron Fleet before Euron’s ambush – and then losing Rhaegal to the scorpion – is a great example of this. Similarly, sending in the entire Dothraki in the dead of night to attack the army of the dead was plain stupid. But perhaps the most egregious lack of critical thinking was hiding the women and children in a crypt full of dead bodies, to protect them from an enemy who could bring dread bodies back to life. Did no-one in Winterfell think that might be a problem?
But the worst thing about Season 8 was Dany going suddenly crazy and burning to death a million innocent civilians, after King’s Landing had surrendered. Yes, we get it, she always had a vengeful side – which she showed by burning the Tarly’s, crucifying the masters of Mereen and burying her servant alive in Qarth. But in all these cases, she was punishing people who had wronged her. Dany was never a “slaughter-a-million-innocents-just-because” kind of character. If they wanted to turn her into that, Dumb and Dumber needed to do a hell of a lot more groundwork to get to that point.
Maybe they could have shown the people of King’s Landing laughing loudly when Missandei had her head chopped off. That might have been a justification for roasting them alive. But this was poor, rushed writing – and the rumours seem to be that neither George RR Martin or HBO are happy with Dumb and Dumber’s ending.
If you are a Star Wars fan – look out. These two imbeciles are signed up to ruin galaxies far, far away.
What did you think of the ending to Game of Thrones? Were you as disappointed as our escorts? Or did you think it made perfect sense? Why not discuss it with one of our ladies over dinner at a London restaurant? A GoT-themed date with a passionate London escort will be a story of ice and fire with a guaranteed happy ending!